Monday, 17 September 2012


I'm terribly sorry to everyone for my sudden dissapearance for the last three weeks. Let's just say I have some very nasty things to say to my internet provider.
In any case, while I was away I wrote a humorous one page adventure. This is dedicated to a family member who is now starting his time at university.

University Life
By Jake Care

While reading Jake Care’s blog you realize the article is an interactive story! Here you have the opportunity to experience university life again from the comfort of your house. Make your choices, and read the sections corresponding to the number of your choice. Also get a pencil in case you need to note some things down.

1: You’re at your rez. There are some overly loud people day-drinking in the hall, while some anti-socials are locked in their rooms. (Leave? 2) (Drink, if you have “Beer”? 3) (Stay in your room? 4)

2: You walk to the side gates, this connects the student ghetto to the campus (Go to your rez? 1) (Go to the corner store? 5) (Go the center of campus? 6) (Go down to main caf? 7) (Wander the student ghetto? 8)

3: You end up drinking too much and then… some stuff happens and you wake up in a ditch somewhere, naked, with no memory of what happened last night. You can be pretty sure you had lots of fun though! Note down “Wasted” (Go to 13)

4: The room is silent and lonely. If you have “Course Notes” then you get your overly expensive textbooks out and read the boring material before doing some work on your laptop write down “Study”. Of course either way you end up looking at facebook, then some silly games, then just weird shit on the internet. Congratulations; you have no life. (Go to 13)

5: The corner store is filled with some cheep foods, magazines, and best of all; beer. Sadly they don’t sell harder alcohol here, but the beer will do. You may spend your tiny student budget on beer or cheep food, note down either “Beer” or “Food”. In any case you end up leaving even poorer than when you got here. (go to 2)

6: You are in the grand center of the univeristy in all its splendor! A plethora of options is open to you, young student. (Go to the side gates? 2) (Go to a class? 9) (Study in a library? 4) (Leave through the main gates? 10) (Drink at the student bar? 3)

7: The main caf is nice, as far as cafeterias go, though overpriced. If you want you may enjoy a 15$ non-gourmet meal, and note down “Food”. Otherwise you’d best be on your way. (Go up to the side gates? 2) (Go into town? 10)

8: You wander through the small streets. There are appartements, rezs and also the gym is here too. (Go to your rez? 1) (To the gym? 11) (Go to the side gates? 2)

9: You sit in an overly large lecture hall. The lecture has maybe one or two interesting things, which you write down, but then becomes boring once more. You tune in and out of the lecture until it’s finally over. And you weave through other students trying to get out the doors. Note “Class Notes”. (Go outside? 6) (Go to the student bar? 3) (Study at a library? 4)

10:  You walk through the city and inevitably end up on Main St. (Go back to university? 6) (Go to a club/bar? 3) (Go to a restaurant? 12)

11: The gym is alright, however there are many people there who are much more fit than you are, making you feel bad about your body. Note down “Sweaty” (Time to leave. 2)

12: Oh my gosh! The food here isn’t cafeteria food, and it’s reasonably priced! Well at least compared to the cafs. Note down “Food”. (Wipe your mouth and leave. 10)

13: And so concludes another day at University. Look at the chart to see what the words you have written, or haven’t written, mean.

Not written

You starve to death.

You are fat and ugly.

You have no friends.

You fail your classes.

You had fun!